Unplanned Pregnancy without Crisis
"I'm pregnant!" - If you are planning on bringing a life into the world then you are a mother already. Your child needs you. Don't give up hope. Learn how you can keep and nurture your own child. If you are thinking about adoption, learn what adult adoptees say when they feel safe in telling their truths about adoption. Learn from others experiences how Open Adoption may affect you and your family. Use the links at the left to learn more about adoption.
Read More: Dear Birthmother - Is Adoption Worth the Grief?*
* Note: The term "birthmother", "birthmom", bmom" is used here for search engine ranking ONLY. A human being is not an object, meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption - - A mother is the mother of her own child.
Many parents have punished their daughters for life by pressuring them to surrender their own sons and daughters for adoption. Do you really want your grandchild to feel abandoned by his mother, father and by you? Do you want your grandchild calling some stranger "mom" while your daughter is degradingly referred to as a "birthmother" and you are just a "birth relative"? No matter what letters, pictures or contact they promise you, there is no guarantee you or your daughter will see your grandchild again. A very large percentage of so-called "open" adoptions close in the first year. It's devastating for the natural family. Some mothers even commit suicide.
You may be a father. A child who feels he has been abandoned by his father is more likely to abandon his own offspring. Learn about your rights and protect them for your child's sake. Even if you cannot marry his mother, your child still needs YOU to love and guide him. No one else can take your place. Fathers are of interest to adoption lawyers and agencies - they put special effort into denying fathers' rights so they can get more babies. Do feel confident in getting a paternity test after the baby is born - or even before the baby is born - but don't wait for the paternity test to start protecting your rights and the rights of your child to have his own father.
Some states have Putative Father Registries, however, laws vary from state to state. To avoid the possiblity that a father might take responsibility for his own child, agencies sometimes transport mothers to another state to give birth or put a notice in a newspaper that is nowhere near a father's home town. So take the time to learn how to protect your rights and in addition, learn how you can nurture your child. To show your interest and intentions in advance you may be required by law to provide in some way for your child - by supporting your child's mother or buying a carseat, a stroller and some other baby items. And look up the laws for your state regarding paternity and putative father registry. (It's best to retain a lawyer, because some states try to avoid dads and get more babies for adoption Customers by providing bad links to on-line putative father's registy forms.)
Be sure to read the following article on father's rights:
When people are faced with an unplanned pregnancy (crisis pregnancy) they may begin to consider adoption. If you go to an adoption professional they will direct your decision all the while making you think you are the one exercising your own choice. "Be courageous" they say, fill out this pre-birth agreement. Then, with too little information about the long-term effects on your child and on you, they may get you to "make an adoption plan". Soon you find yourself feeling beholden to the prospective adopters who are strangers to your child. It is better not to plan on adoption and not to choose prospective adopters before your child is even born. Just say "no" - and repeat "no" if they try to change your mind.
You are your baby's mother and you have a right to raise your own child. When your child is born you have all the rights and responsibilities of a parent. Take lots of time to hold your baby, talk to her and get to know her. Nurse her. It's not only your right to spend these moments together, but she needs you as much as you need her.
Unplanned pergnancy? Pregnant? Use the time before your baby is born to plan on keeping her. Find ways to make it work. You don't owe your child to anyone.
Unplanned Pregnancy - Thanks for helping us keep our baby.
Thanks to "A Mother's Song" and other pro-family organizations many pregnant moms and their babies have been saved from unnecessary adoption separation.
Unplanned pregnancy is nearly always an anxious time but unplanned pregnancy need not be a crisis. However it is in the best interest of adoption agencies and adoption attorneys to turn an unplanned pregnancy into a crisis - that makes it easier for them to get a baby for their customers.
"Open adoption" is also used to get more babies for adoption.
Read why open adoption is not
a good option.
Note: The terms "birthmom" and "birthmother are used here for search engine placement ONLY. No mother is an incubator or "birth thing" - she is a mother.