 Birth
Fathers or Real Fathers?
"Birth father" is a silly sounding term. Fathers do not
give birth - they are the ones who "father" a child. Fathers
are the begettors - like in the Bible where it says "Abraham
begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judas and .. "
and where it says that Jesus was God's "only begotten son".
Some fathers do abandon their children and other fathers do not know
their child exists. Still others may have been away serving their
country in Iraq when their "only begotten son" was acquired
for use in adoption.
Some fathers were lured into donating sperm by businesses that will
profit from this transaction. These young men - frequently college
students - probably do not comprehend that they are selling their
future offspring, their own children. Later their sons and daughters
will wonder why "dad" is not there to play ball with them
- why they are not a "chip off the old block" - at
least not for any "old blocks" that they know.
Regardless of the circumstances of conception, the fathers of babies
that have been acquired (or purchased) for use by others are called
nasty names - like "birthfather" or "sperm donor ".
These terms hide the fact that this person is the child's true father.
Adopted people (and "donated" people) are influenced to
call the males who have adopted them their "father" or "real
father". The adoptive buyers paid good money to achieve "real
fatherhood". The adopters claim the adopted person "owes
them" the honor of being known as their "real father"
or "real parent" after all they have done for them. Presumably
Joseph, the step-father of Jesus contributed just as much, raising
Jesus as he would have raised his own son. Yet Jesus claimed God as
his father. As far as we can tell, Joseph was not even offended. Why?
Because it was the truth! Joseph was secure in his role as
a step-father -- he did not buy ("adopt") Jesus for the
purpose of owning him.
Some might believe that fathers who are not married to their child's
mother deserve to be called nasty names. That may be true in some
cases - but even in those cases, it would be incorrect to say they
are not really the fathers of their children. They are their children's
fathers - even if they are naive, inexperienced, inept or completely
unfit. A child needs "a" father would be better stated:
"A child needs his (or her) father." Fathers should
not be discouraged from taking responsibility for their existing and
future offspring, even if they are single fathers.
Likewise a natural mother is the "mother" of her child
- she is not an incubator to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.
A mother should rightfully be called a "mother" - NEVER
"birthmother" ("birth object").
Some people say they appreciate "birthmoms". These same
people will tell you they appreciate toilet paper. The toilet paper
has a purpose and the "birth thing" has a purpose as well
- even a turd has a purpose. Usually the tissue and the shit are discarded
and flushed away. Sometimes however, a turd may be shellaced a joke
and sold in a gift shop or tourist trap. Likewise a "birthmom"
- or "birth dad" - may be kept around as a curiousity -
but they must know her "place" and never claim to be the
mother or father of their son or daughter.
Adoption is all about those who have power taking advantage or the
powerless and the naive. Children are taken from vulnerable mothers
and sold off by brokers just like the slave auctions. You don't like
the looks of this slave baby? Well, don't buy her, then - wait for
a healthier specimen!
Birthfather's Day Celebrations?
Some people propose silly ideas like "Birthmothers Day"
or "Birth
Fathers Day" - the idea is to honor the "birthobjecthood"
of the "givers of life".
Here is a fantastic article explaining what is wrong with having
a "Birthmother's
Day" ("Birthfathers Day?"). In Rebuttal of 'Celebrating
Motherhood' by Josee Larose.
A
Personal Response to Birthmother's Day by Bryony Lake - the same
arguments apply to any proposed Birthfathers
Day.
"Birthfather's day" - or would that be "Birth Father's
Day"?. Well lets face it - many fathers were also conned into
"open" adoption or closed adoption. Often their parents
put them up to it, not wanting their sons to have to take responsibility
for their children. Some fathers, like mothers, fall for the idea
that a child needs to be raised by two unrelated married people rather
than her own mother and father, if they are single when their child
is born.
"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to
be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty
God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give
me liberty or give me death!" -- Patrick Henry
Article: Why "Dear
Birthmother" Letters should be Outlawed
Read More: Adoption
- is Heritage a Human Right?
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