Baby
Loss, Grieving a Baby "Given up" for
Adoption
Like-Minded Links:
* Note: The word
"birthmother" or "birthparent"
is used here for search engine rankings ONLY, no
mother is an incubator or "birth thing"
- she is a mother.
"I'm pregnant!" - If you are planning on
bringing a life into the world then you are a mother already.
Your child needs you. Don't give up hope. Learn how you
can keep and nurture your own child. If you are thinking about
adoption, learn what
adult adoptees say when they feel safe in telling their truths
about adoption. Learn from others experiences how Open
Adoption may affect you and your family. Use the links at
the left to learn more about adoption.
* Note: The term "birthmother",
"birthmom", bmom" is used here for search engine
ranking ONLY. A human being is not an object, meant to be used as
the source of a baby for adoption - - A mother is the mother of her
own child.
Many parents have punished their daughters for life
by pressuring them to surrender their own sons and daughters for adoption.
Do you really want your grandchild to feel abandoned by his mother,
father and by you? Do you want your grandchild calling some stranger
"mom" while your daughter is degradingly referred to as
a "birthmother" and you are just a "birth relative"?
No matter what letters, pictures or contact they promise you, there
is no guarantee you or your daughter will see your grandchild again.
A very large percentage of so-called "open" adoptions close
in the first year. It's devastating for the natural family. Some mothers
even commit suicide.
Is your
girlfriend pregnant?
You may be a father. A child who feels he has been
abandoned by his father is more likely to abandon his own offspring.
Learn about your rights and protect them for your child's sake. Even
if you cannot marry his mother, your child still needs YOU to love
and guide him. No one else can take your place. Fathers are of interest
to adoption lawyers and agencies - they put special effort into denying
fathers' rights so they can get more babies. Do feel confident in
getting a paternity test after the baby is born - or even before the
baby is born - but don't wait for the paternity test to start protecting
your rights and the rights of your child to have his own father.
Some states have Putative Father Registries, however,
laws vary from state to state. To avoid the possiblity that a father
might take responsibility for his own child, agencies sometimes transport
mothers to another state to give birth or put a notice in a newspaper
that is nowhere near a father's home town. So take the time to learn
how to protect your rights and in addition, learn how you can nurture
your child. To show your interest and intentions in advance
you may be required by law to provide in some way for your child -
by supporting your child's mother or buying a carseat, a stroller
and some other baby items. And look up the laws for your state regarding
paternity and putative father registry. (It's best to retain a
lawyer, because some states try to avoid dads and get more babies
for adoption Customers by providing bad links to on-line putative
father's registy forms.)
Be sure to read the following article on father's
rights:
When people are faced with an unplanned pregnancy
(crisis pregnancy) they may begin to consider adoption. If you go
to an adoption professional they will direct your decision all the
while making you think you are the one exercising your own choice.
"Be courageous" they say, fill out this pre-birth agreement.
Then, with too little information about the long-term effects on your
child and on you, they may get you to "make an adoption plan".
Soon you find yourself feeling beholden to the prospective adopters
who are strangers to your child. It is better not to plan on adoption
and not to choose prospective adopters before your child is even born.
Just say "no" - and repeat "no" if they try to
change your mind.
You are your baby's mother and you have a right to
raise your own child. When your child is born you have all the rights
and responsibilities of a parent. Take lots of time to hold your baby,
talk to her and get to know her. Nurse her. It's not only your right
to spend these moments together, but she needs you as much as you
need her.
Unplanned pergnancy? Pregnant? Use the time before
your baby is born to plan on keeping her. Find ways to make it work.
You don't owe your child to anyone.
Unplanned Pregnancy - Thanks for helping us keep
our baby.
Thanks to "A Mother's Song" and other pro-family organizations
many pregnant moms and their babies have been saved from unnecessary
adoption separation.
"Spent Saturday shopping for a stroller and car seat for my
pregnant daughter's baby. Brings back memories alright. My daughter
is a lot more relaxed and has become excited since she has decided
to keep her baby. She calls me all the time and our relationship
has improved a lot." - A happy Grandmother-to-be.
Jokes
- Pregnancy Joke
If Men Got Pregnant
Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay.
There would be a cure for stretch marks.
Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
They wouldn't think twins were so cute.
Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.
Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.
Women would rule the world.
Unplanned pregnancy is nearly always an anxious time but unplanned
pregnancy need not be a crisis. However it is in the best
interest of adoption agencies and adoption attorneys to turn an unplanned
pregnancy into a crisis - that makes it easier for them
to get a baby for their customers.
"Open adoption" is also used to get more babies for adoption.
Read why open adoption is not
a good option.
Note: The terms "birthmom" and "birthmother
are used here for search engine placement ONLY. No mother is an
incubator or "birth thing" - she is a mother.
